How to tell if someone considers you a friend? As long as it's something you did, if they only focus on the process and not the outcome, then they see you as one of their own. But if they only look at the result and ignore the process, then you are an outsider, and all your efforts and hard work are less impactful than a good outcome. Therefore, in front of outsiders, the means are secondary, and the result is what matters most.