In the social context of China, there is a very disgusting rhetorical tactic. If you want to disgust someone, this set of methods is enough. The core formula of this tactic is: first fabricate a mistake that the other person has not actually committed, and when they are about to rebut or prove their innocence, immediately shut them up with forgiveness and magnanimity. Why am I so certain that this rhetoric is disgusting? Because I was truly disgusted by it a few days ago.

Scenario 1: Blaming others at work. For example, you and a colleague are working together, and the boss suddenly asks whether a certain task has been completed, even though neither of you has done it. Your colleague immediately says: "Huh? Didn't I ask you to do it? Why haven't you done it?" You naturally want to rebut: "When did I ask you to do it?" But as soon as you speak, they cut you off: "Forget it, forget it, don't say anything. Let me do it. No worries, I’ll just know next time." Over time, the boss’s subconscious will think: "You made a mistake, but they are very magnanimous," while you are left feeling extremely frustrated.

Scenario 2: Missing files. For example, a certain file is lost in the company. When the boss questions someone, your colleague says: "Hey, didn't I tell you to put the file in a certain place?" You are about to say that you never told them, but they immediately say: "Forget it, no big deal. It’s my fault. Next time, I’ll put it myself." What’s the result? The mistake seems to be on your side, but they become the person willing to take responsibility and show generosity.

Why does this rhetoric work? Remember, the premise of this tactic is: fabricating a mistake. If the other person actually made a mistake, saying this wouldn’t be disgusting. They would just think: "Yes, I did make a mistake." Only when they haven’t made a mistake, and you first accuse, then forgive, then shut them up, can you cause the other person to feel strong discomfort and frustration.

How should you respond to such people? It depends on the situation. In formal, respectable settings (like the workplace): don’t rush to prove your innocence, because once you start doing so, they will immediately use forgiveness to shut you up, making them seem more noble. In informal settings: directly point out the facts on the spot, interrupt their performance, and don’t give them the chance to complete the accusation or the entire forgiveness process.