Yesterday I received a letter from the homeowners' association.

Official letter
In an envelope
With a stamp
In 2026
The letter said that my trash bin was visible from the street for too long on collection day.
The fine is €50.
I checked my camera
The truck arrived at 7:03 a.m.
I took out the bin at 7:14 a.m.
11 minutes
€50
That’s €4.55 per minute of trash bin visibility.
My therapist charges €250 an hour.
That’s €4.17 per minute.
My trash bin outside my house now costs more per minute than therapy.
I looked at the letter again.
It was signed by the president of the homeowners' association.
Her name is Paca.
Of course.
I know this woman.
She lives four houses away.
She still has Christmas lights on
It’s April
I know because I pass by them twice a day.
And because that’s what I do.
I reviewed the homeowners' association bylaws.
The 47 pages
Section 4.2 states that all outdoor accessories and lights must be seasonal and removed within 30 days after the relevant holiday.
Her lights have been on for over 100 days.
I went to the homeowners' association meeting.
Tuesday night
7 p.m.
In a church basement
Folding chairs
A fruit platter nobody touched
Eight people showed up
Five of them were on the board.
The other three were there to complain.
I was there to read.
My wife came with me.
She didn’t want to,
But she said, “If I don’t come, you’ll end up on the news.”
I brought my notepad.
Paca started the meeting.
She talked about community standards.
She talked about property values.
She talked about the importance of curb appeal.
Of a woman whose Christmas lights are still blinking in April.
I raised my hand.
She said, “We’ll answer questions at the end.”
I said, “That’s not a question. It’s a matter of order.”
She looked at me.
I opened my notepad.
I said, “Section 4.2 requires seasonal decorations to be removed within 30 days. Your Christmas lights have been on for over 100 days. I was fined €50 for having the trash bin visible for only 11 minutes on collection day, while you’ve been violating the rules for over three months.”
The room fell silent.
One of the other three complainants said, “He’s right.”
The board members looked at each other.
Paca said, “That’s a separate matter.”
I said, “It’s the same bylaws.”
She said, “We’ll review it.”
I said, “I already did. Page 12. I’m happy to share my notes.”
My wife looked at the ceiling.
Some things never change.
Paca said, “I think we should move on.”
I said, “Fine. I’ll move on when the Christmas lights do.”
No one laughed.
I wasn’t joking.
I paid the €50.
Because it’s €50 and I’m not going to die defending that stance.
But if the rules apply to me, they apply to everyone.
So I filed a formal complaint about the lights.
With photos.
With timestamps.
It’s funny how surveillance works both ways.
The fine for violations related to seasonal decorations is €75 for each day of violation.
She has been violating the rules for almost 100 days after the 30-day grace period.
I’ll let her do the math.
Or I’ll do it for her.
Because that’s what I do.
Let’s make common sense common again.
Please fix it. Thank you.
Sent from my iPhone