‘We entered Race Across the World to honour dying wish’

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Jonny HumphriesNorth West

BBC

Mark Blythen and Margo Oakley had a “fractious” relationship for more than 40 years

When Margo Oakley, now 59, was introduced to her older sister’s new boyfriend her first impressions of the “po-faced” and “judgey” young man were not great.

And for Mark Blythen, 67, his feelings about his girlfriend’s “loud and wild” younger sibling were mutual.

But more than 40 years later the pair became the first set of in-laws to compete on Race Across the World - the BBC show that offers a £20,000 cash prize to the first of five duos to reach the finish line without the aid of phones, internet or air travel and with a limited budget.

They told the BBC the decision to enter the intense TV contest together followed the “last wishes” of Mark’s wife and Margo’s sister Julia, who died from the rare blood cancer myelofibrosis in 2022.

Mark, from London, met Julia, from Liverpool, while they were both students at Huddersfield Polytechnic, even though initially she was dating one of his flatmates.

“She hit him over the head with a brolly and then about three weeks later I went out with her,” he said.

Mark revealed the one thing he and Margo agreed on in those early days was that Julia was “out of my league”.

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Julia and Mark were together for about 40 years

“It took us 23 years to get married but as soon as I met Julia, she was the person I knew I wanted to be with,” Mark said.

“She was gregarious, she was funny and she was just everything I wanted in someone, a partner.”

His first introduction to Margo came during a weekend visit to Liverpool.

“He wasn’t what I imagined her going out with,” Margo said.

“He was quite po-faced about me and my friends. We were young, we were having fun. He seemed judgey.”

“I was very judgey,” Mark agreed.

The pair said they “rubbed along” over the years since then, with occasional “eruptions”.

But Julia was “the glue that held us together”, they said.

And one thing Margo never doubted was Mark’s commitment to her sister.

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Mark said Margo (pictured right) would provide Julia (left) with fun and joy during her illness

“I have to say, he was a good husband. He was very, very devoted to her. He couldn’t have been more,” she said.

“I mean, in a way, and that’s part of really the story of the race, in a way he put a lot of who he was aside just because he worshipped her so much.”

After decades of not seeing eye-to-eye, Mark and Margo’s relationship developed a new dimension in 2019 when Julia became ill.

She had a particularly aggressive form of the disease, and despite undergoing a stem-cell transplant, her condition deteriorated.

As Mark cared for his wife, he said he came to value Margo’s visits for the impact they had on her mood.

“One of the things about caring for somebody is that it’s very easy to just get lost and focus on caring for someone,” he said.

“People that are being cared for, they need to have fun and Margo provided that fun. I think that’s what kept Julia going for so long, that Margo would come down and raise her spirits.”

Margo said she noticed the toll Julia’s illness was taking on Mark.

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Mark said he did not realise how much of a toll caring for Julia during her illness had taken

“When he was caring for Julia, he didn’t even know, realise how much it was taking from him,” she said.

“We had different roles, but also as well, I knew Mark, like every carer, needed support.”

While their relationship had been strengthening anyway, Julia explicitly told them she wanted them to remain close after she was gone.

“It was Julia’s last wishes, and it was literally last wishes, that the friendship that Margo and myself had formed continued and we strengthened and we didn’t lose it.”

Margo said that while her sister had wanted their relationship to continue, how they went about it was an open question.

“You don’t really have any blueprint for it, you know, it’s an unusual relationship for all those years of friction,” she said.

Both Mark and Margo said Julia was a big fan of Race Across the World, but “would never have gone on it” herself.

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Julia wanted Mark and Margo to maintain their newly forged bond after she died

The inspiration to apply hit Margo suddenly.

"I saw the race advertised and I just thought ‘that really speaks to me’. I was looking for adventure because I have a lot on in my life in Liverpool because I care for my mum.

"As soon as I saw the race advertised, just something, I have no idea, spoke to me and said, ask Mark. A voice kind of told me, ask Mark…

“I didn’t think twice. And very quickly I asked him and immediately he said ‘yes’.”

The pair did not want to reveal too much about what went on during filming to avoid spoilers - but said the “magical” journey towards the final destination - Mongolia - featured “real highs and really big lows”.

“I don’t think that’s a spoiler to say, that’s the nature of the race. Even the lows, there was absolute magic and alchemy in them,” she said.

“Some of the lows, that’s where the absolute gold is wasn’t it?”

“You find the treasure at the bottom”, Mark agreed.

Margo said she believed the excitement and joy in taking part in the race and the sadness of losing Julia would be relatable for people who have experienced loss.

“There’s beauty in holding both those things, of sadness and joy of life and honouring her,” she said.

The new series of Race Across the World begins at 21:00 BST on Thursday 2 April on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.

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