Spending two years to figure out one thing is not a waste of time. You need to allow yourself to pause, to slow down, and to be temporarily stagnant. I know that in our current era, many people feel a sense of shame about slowing down. You can imagine yourself as a car; when the car breaks down, you must stop it to repair it. You can't keep driving while fixing it on the road. Self-integration and rebuilding are inherently slow processes because your trauma didn't appear overnight; it accumulated gradually over time. You need to dismantle it piece by piece and fill in the gaps step by step, eventually growing into a completely new self. The time you spend pausing is not a waste; in fact, it is incredibly valuable because your body and your life both need this time to rest and recover. Be kind to yourself.